Harry's New Wand
by Silo
Summary: Harry breaks his old wand and decides to get a new one... but this new one dosn't like him very much...


**Name: Harry's new wand**

**Summary: Harry breaks his old wand and decides to get a new one... but this new one dosn't like him very much...**

* * *

Harry was heading back home from another busy year at Hogwarts. 

He was tired.

And bored.

"I'm just going to go and beat up Malfoy now." he said to him boredom-painted friends.

"Feel free." Ron and Hermione said in unison.

Harry wandered out of the car he occupied and went on a search for the one belonging to Malfoy.

Eventually, he found it.

When he walked in, Malfoy curled up into a ball and hid himslef in the corner.

Harry thumped him constantly, kicked his ass and smashed his head against the wall repeatedly.

Then, all of a sudden, Malfoy's cries of pain were interuppted by the opening of the door behind them.

"What on _Earth _has been going on here?" Proffessor McGonagall yelled.

"I'm beating up Malfoy." Harry grinned.

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were attacking someone that _mattered. _Very well, carry on."

She walked back out of their car and alowed Harry to resume beating the crap out of Malfoy.

Harry reached for his wand and poked him in the eye several times before...

SNAP!

"DAMMIT! Why is your eyeball so damn hard, freak?"

Harry kicked him in the balls and left him to cower in the corner.

* * *

When they arrived in London, harry steeped out and stode all the way to Olivander's wand shop. 

He told him everything that had happened.

"BRILLIANT! I hope that taught that Malfoy child a lesson! Now, you were saying you wanted a new wand, correct?"

The shopkeeper reached out for a black case with silver writing across it.

"These come from Brazil! They're brand new!"

He handed one to Harry.

Harry read the silver writing. It said: "HellBringer- performs your magic for you."

"I'll take it!" Harry exclaimed enthusiastically.

He paid for the wand and went.

He tore open the packaging excitedly and discovered a beautiful, shimmering, silver wand that felt so very comfortable in his grasp.

"Cool." Harry said nodding.

However, while Harry stood there admiring it, the wand began to glow red, and suddenly flicked.

A witch, once stood right infront of him, was thrown straight through the window of a man-eating book shop.

The wand flicked again, and the shop to his right collapsed where it stood.

It kept flicking, and things kept happening. Someone's clothes were blown right off their body, straight over the rooves and far away.

A woman's skirt was blown upwards, revealing a rather attractive thong on a rather unattractive body.

Harry dropped the struggling wand and ran for his life.

Buying that wand was the biggest mistake he had made since he looked up his aunt Petunia's skirt.

The wand chased him and whacked him on the back of the head, knocking him to the floor.

It rested itslef in his hand and began to flick at things again.

Things began to blow away.

Things began to explode.

People began to fall over for no apparent reason.

"Oh my God! We're all going to die!" Some random person shouted, who began to attack random people at random times.

More people began to join in his psychotic rage, and worked together to tip over cars (Don't ask about how the vehicles got there) and break into shops using wooden chairs.

Someone threw a match into the fireworks shop, and somebody actually threw themself off the top of the Gringott's bank, landing flat on top of a by-passing goblin.

Harry, dazed stupid, looked up and at the street of diagon alley.

It was a disaster.

Blue and Yellow books flew left and right like a bust motorway, singing "We were driving up the highway, the highway 64, Barney blew a big one, and knocked us to the floor. The wheels couldn't stand it, the engine blew apart, all because of Barney's super-sonic fart!". Building were alight in flame. People were attacking each other with used cotton buds.

Hell had been brought.

The wand had lived up to it's name.

And diagon alley ceased to exist all because of one little boy who bought a brand new wand.

**

* * *

That was stupid. It was meant to be. What, you don't think that was stupid? I like turning Harry Potter into something stupid! If you thought this one was crazy try reading If History Could Be Changed! **

**Meanwhile, please review! Criticism is welcome.**


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